I Spend Most Of My Free Time

Bad News, It's Going To Be A Huge Environmental Disaster, The Oil Rig Down There In The Gulf Of Mexico. The Good News Is They Think Now That The Oil Spill Will Be Diluted By The Melting Ice Caps.

Congratulations To Ohio State, Your New College Football Champions. Coach Urban Meyer May Be The Greatest Football Coach Of All Time. Don't Confuse Him With New York Mayor Bill De Blasio. That's Urban Quagmire.

I Like Halloween. It Gives You A Chance To Dress Up Like Something You're Not, You Know? Like When The Miami Dolphins Put On Football Uniforms.

Don't Worry. It's Just A Flesh Wound.

So They Caught Gadhafi In A Storm Sewer And Shot Him. Or As They Call It In The Middle East, An Orderly Transfer Of Power.