I Simply Like Guns Because You Can't

Chinks In America's Egalitarian Armor Are Not Hard To Find. Democracy Is The Fig Leaf Of Elitism.

Recently While Browsing In A Secondhand Bookstore I Bought A Paperback Copy Of The Intellectual And The City, But I Was Unable To Read It. When I Got Home I Discovered That The Original Owner Had Highlighted The Entire Book - Literally. Every Line On Every Page Had Been Drawn Through With A Bright Green Magic Marker. It Was A Terrifying Example Of A Mind That Had Lost All Power Of Discrimination.

My Object Is To Live In A Place That Does Not Call Itself 'the Community With A Heart.' I Want One Of Those Godforsaken Towns Where All The Young People Leave And The Rest Sit On The Porch With A Rifle Across Their Knees.

The Proliferation Of Support Groups Suggests To Me That Too Many Americans Are Growing Up In Homes That Do Not Contain A Grandmother. A Home Without A Grandmother Is Like An Egg Without Salt.... The Emotionally Satisfying Discussions That Take Place In Chronic Pain Outreach And Depression Resources Are Simply Updated Versions Of The Grandmotherly Practice Of Hanging Crepe. We Could Eliminate Much Of The Isolation That Support Groups Exist To Fill And Save The "traditional Family" That Everybody Is So Worried About If More Couples Took Their Aging Parents To Live With Them.

Because The Theater Lost A Barrymore Every Time A Southerner Decided Not To Go On The Stage, Just About Anything That Comes Out Of A Southern Mouth Is Bound To Be A Ringing Line.