I Simply Like Guns Because You Can't

There Is Nothing Wrong With "women's Studies" That Studying The Right Women Can't Cure, But Feminist Literary Scholars Have A Penchant For Dragging The Rivers Of Deserved Obscurity For Third-rate Neurotics.

Americans Respect Talent Only Insofar As It Leads To Fame, And We Reserve Our Most Fervent Admiration For Famous People Who Destroy Their Lives As Well As Their Talent. The Fatal Flaws Of Elvis, Judy, And Marilyn Register Much Higher On Our National Applause Meter Than Their Living Achievements. In Amerca, Talent Is Merely A Tool For Becoming Famous In Life So You Can Become More Famous In Death - Where All Are Equal.

Owning Your Own Home Is America's Unique Recipe For Avoiding Revolution And Promoting Pseudo-equality At The Same Time. To Keep Citizens Puttering In Their Yards Instead Of Sputtering On The Barricades, The Government Has Gladly Deprived Itself Of Billions In Tax Revenues By Letting Home Owners Deduct Mortgage Interest Payments.

A Woman Must Wait For Her Ovaries To Die Before She Can Get Her Rightful Personality Back. Post-menstrual Is The Same As Pre-menstrual; I Am Once Again What I Was Before The Age Of Twelve: A Female Human Being Who Knows That A Month Has Thirty Day, Not Twenty-five, And Who Can Spend Every One Of Them Free Of The Shackles Of That Defect Of Body And Mind Known As Femininity.

God May Have Loved The Common People, But A Trip To Any Shopping Mall Suggests That He Made Far Too Many Of Them.