I Saw The Film Pearl Harbour And

Here Was My First Lesson On The Resolutely Maintained Untidiness And Ill-health Of The English Upper Orders. In Baggy Evening Dress And Old Before Their Time, They Displayed Gapped And Tangled Teeth In Loosely Open Mouths. Gently Shedding Dandruff, They Lurched Across The Lawn. When They Stood At The Bar They Looked Like Lee Trevino Putting.

This Quality Becomes Important At A Time When Almost Everyone Is A Poet. And As I Said, We Live In An Age Where Almost Everybody Is A Poet, But Scarcely Anyone Can Write A Poem.

Once, Bbc Television Had Echoed Bbc Radio In Being A Haven For Standard English Pronunciation. Then Regional Accents Came In: A Democratic Plus. Then Slipshod Usage Came In: An Egalitarian Minus. By Now Slovenly Grammar Is Even More Rife On The Bbc Channels Than On Itv. In This Regard A Decline Can Be Clearly Charted... If The Bbc, Once The Guardian Of The English Language, Has Now Become Its Most Implacable Enemy, Let Us At Least Be Grateful When The Massacre Is Carried Out With Style.

She Wasn't Just Beautiful. She Was Like The Sun Coming Up: Coming Up Giggling. She Was Giggling As If She Had Just Remembered Something Funny.

People Should Be Stopped From Writing Poetry. There's Far Too Much Of It. And If They're Any Good, They'll Go Ahead Anyways.