I Was Brought Up On The Proletarian

The Entrée Wasn't Tender Enough To Be A Paving Stone And The Gravy Couldn't Have Been Primordial Soup Because Morphogenesis Was Already Taking Place.

The British Secret Service Was Staffed At One Point Almost Entirely By Alcoholic Homosexuals Working For The Kgb

People Should Be Stopped From Writing Poetry. There's Far Too Much Of It. And If They're Any Good, They'll Go Ahead Anyways.

The Repeat Run Of Fawlty Towers (bbc2) Drew Bigger Audiences Than Ever And Deservedly So. Statistical Surveys Reveal That Only The Television Critic Of The Spectator Is Incapable Of Seeing The Joke, Which Is That Basil Fawlty Has The Wrong Temperament To Be A Hotel Proprietor, Just As Some Other People Have The Wrong Temperament To Be Television Critics.

The Rattle Of Plastic Keys Reminds Me Of A Squadron Of Butterflies Failing To Fight Their Way Out Of A Paper Bag.