I Read Recipes The Same Way I

My Father Was Never Very Friendly. When I Was Growing Up, I Thought The Doorbell Ringing Was A Signal To Pretend You Weren't Home.

I Get So Happy When I Write A Joke. It's A Very Satisfying, Liberating Feeling.

My Father Watched Football With The Sound Off Because He Lived In Fear Of Hearing The Voice Of Howard Cosell.

The Way A Man Looks At Himself In A Mirror Will Tell You If He Can Ever Care About Anyone Else.

Waiters And Waitresses Are Becoming Nicer And Much More Caring. I Used To Pay My Check, They Would Say "thank You." That's Now Escalated Into "you Care Care Of Yourself, Now." The Other Day I Paid My Check And The Waiter Said, "don't Put Off That Mammogram."