I Procrastinate So Much And I Get

Of Course I Don't Use My A-material, It Doesn't Matter If They Think I'm Funny Or Not Because They Won't Be Thinking Anything Pretty Soon Anyways, If You Caych My Drift.

I Think The [new England] Patriots' Season Should Have An Asterisk Next To It Because Everything They're Accomplishing Is Against Teams Coached By People Other Than Me.

The Problem With Doing Commercials Is That The Only Thing Good Enough For Me To Sell Is Myself, And I Stopped Doing That Once I Kicked My Coke Habit.

For Me, Acting In Scenes With Other People Is Like Playing Soccer With A Bunch Of Legless Five Year Olds. It's Not Really Fair To Them, But What Else Can I Do, You Know?

I'm Sick Of People Saying I Hate Blacks, Women, And Gays. It's False And Slanderous. Everyone Who Knows Me Knows I Hate The Chinese.