I Prefer Being Totally Sober Myself.

Everyone Just Did What Their Parents Did. So That Immediately Made Me Skeptical Of The Whole Religion Thing, Even As A Kid. So I Never Was Really Into Religion As A Concept.

Maybe That's Why I Don't Like Religion Because The First Introduction To It Was, You Don't Get To Do That Thing You Just Discovered That You Really Enjoy.

With Stand-up, It's More Interesting To Hear About People's Failures Than Their Successes.

I'm Like An Elephant, Ok? If I Walk Into A Room, It's Like, Ok, He's In There.

I'm So Jealous Of People Who Have Crushes On People They Go To School With, Or Work With. That's Such A Blessing. You Actually Get To See Them All The Time And Spend Time With Them.