I Played Every Bad Guy In Shakespeare.

Slicing A Warm Slab Of Bacon Is A Lot Like Giving A Ferret A Shave. No Matter How Careful You Are, Somebody's Going To Get Hurt.

If You Really Love Stuffing, Wait Until The Turkey Comes Out Of The Oven, Add Some Of The Pan Drippings To The Stuffing, And Bake It In A Dish. That's Called Dressing, And That's Not Evil - Stuffing Is, Though.

My Advice: Write Down Everything You Eat. It's Amazing What That "self Honesty" Can Do For You. (do You Really Want To Have To Confess That Doughnut? I Thought Not.)

Your Patience Will Be Rewarded.

Although I Don't Take Myself Very Seriously, I Do Take My Work Extraordinarily Seriously.