I Never Leaf Through A Copy Of

My Mind Works . . . Two Boobs Never Get Me A Job.

Enter My First Neighbor - A Woman Who Spoke In Complete, Coherent Sentences, Who Ate With A Knife And Fork And Who Only Cried At Weddings. I Couldn't Help Myself. In A Dramatic Gesture, I Bolted The Door And Threw My Body Across It To Prevent Her Exit. She Understood.

A Grandparent Will Accept Your Calls From Anywhere, Collect.

When You're An Orthodox Worrier, Some Days Are Worse Than Others.

No One Ever Died From Sleeping In An Unmade Bed.