I Miss My Mattress When I Am

Children Are Supposed To Help Hold A Marriage Together. They Do This In A Number Of Ways. For Instance, They Demand So Much Attention That A Husband And Wife, Concentrating On Their Children, Fail To Notice Each Other's Faults.

My Day-old Son Is Plenty Scrawny, His Mouth Is Wide With Screams, Or Yawny; His Ears Seem Larger Than He's Needing, His Nose Is Flat, His Chin's Receding. His Skin Is Very, Very Red, He Has No Hair Upon His Head, And Yet I'm Proud As Proud Can Be, To Hear You Say He Looks Like Me.

G Is For Green, That's Constructed To Roll In Every Direction Away From The Hole.

Shakespeare, Who Never Could Think Up A Plot By Himself, Found This One [macbeth] In Holinshed's Chronicles, Changing It Just Enough So That No One Would Recognize The Source. He Didn't Count On The Resourcefulness Of Modern Scholars, Who Have To Discover Things Like This To Become Associate Professors.

Each Year It Grows Harder To Make Ends Meet - The Ends I Refer To Are Hands And Feet.