I Mean, What's Eleven Million People Now

I Feel Really Bad For Everyone Who Died On 9/11. Not Just The People In The World Trade Center, Pentagon, Or Flight 93, But All Of The Terrorists, Too. 'garden State' Came Out In 2004. That Means None Of Them Got A Chance To See It. Let That Sink In For A Second. No Wonder They're Building A Memorial.

Bigger Than The Beatles? Well, How Many Grammys Did They Win? Exactly, None, Yet I Have One, And I've Never Even Released A Cd.

A Lot Of People Consider 9/11 To Be A Tragedy, And In Some Ways It Is, But I Think There's Also Opportunity For A Lot Of Humor There.

Compared To My Talents, Whoopi Goldberg Is Like One Of Those Fake Plastic Buddhas You Get At Dollar Stores. I Mean Really, I Fail To See The Humor In An Overweight Negro Woman With Dreadlocks, No Eyebrows, And Is Named After A Childish Term For Flatulence.

I Wouldn't Exactly Call It 'intelligent', But Somebody Has To Be Behind Designing The Human Form Other Than Just Biological Necessity. Why Else Would Women Have Arms? Or Feet? Or Mouths?