I Love Jesus. I Just Don't Like

Every Election, Roughly Half The Population Votes Democrat And The Other Half Votes Republican. Now, I Understand Why The Republicans Get One Percent Of The Vote - The Richest One Percent.that Other Percent, Someone Will Have To Explain To Me.

Jesus, As A Philosopher Is Wonderful. There's No Greater Role Model, In My View, Than Jesus Christ. It's Just A Shame That Most Of The People Who Follow Him And Call Themselves Christians Act Nothing Like Him.

In Fact, Because People Are Religious, They Think They Can Do Bad Things.

When The Tabloids Photograph Me When I'm Out, I Always Say: "you Know What, Folks? I'm Not Married And I'm Not Gay. You Caught Me With A Hot Chick. You Got Me. Take Me To Hot-chick Jail. Did It Again. Guilty."

I See They Found Out The Universe Is 80 Million Years Older Than We Thought. It's Also Been Lying About Its Weight.