I Love French Stuff. Mmmm, French Fries.

Here's The Problem With Easter. The Catholic Church Needs To Pick A Date Because It Keeps Moving. And I Think The Reason They Always Have Easter Moving To Different Dates Is To Catch Us.

People Are Disappointed That You Aren't Exactly Who They Thought You Were, As Opposed To Somebody Who's Just Walking Around Trying To Get Some Laundry Done.

Doing The Same Character Over And Over, It Gets Boring.

I Would Have To Commit A Crime And Have Cops Chase Me. That Would Be The Only Way To Get Me To Jog Five Miles.

My Father Left Ireland Because He Did Not Want To Muck Horse Manure For The Rest Of His Life, And He Wanted To Come To New York.