I Like Vending Machines, Because Snacks Are

When It Comes To Racism, You Hear People Say, "i Don't Care If People Are White, Black, Purple Or Green." Hold On, Now, Purple Or Green? Come On Now, You Gotta Draw The Line Somewhere.

Well, That's A 'fresher'. I'm Going On Break.

Once I Saw A Duck Walking Down The Street So I Went Into Subway And Ordered Two Pieces Of Bread, And They Informed Me That They Could Not Do That, Like There Was Some Speical Rule At Subway That Two Pieces Of Bread Weren't Allowed To Touch. So The Woman Asked Me What I Wanted On The Sandwich And I Said I Do Not Care, It Is For A Duck, And She Was Like Oh Then It's Free. I Was Not Aware That Ducks Eat For Free At Subway. It's Like Give Me A Chicken Fajita Sub, But Don't Worry About Ringing It Up, It Is For A Duck.

People On The 14th Floor, You Know What Floor You’re Really On.

I Have A "do Not Disturb" Sign On My Hotel Door. It's Time To Go To "don't Disturb". It's Been "do Not" For Too Long. We Should Embrace The Contraction.