I Like To Tell Old Jokes On

Every Night, It's A Bakery On The Bus. It's A Curse, Because I Talk About How Much I Love Cake, People Bring Me Cake. And Now I Just Found Out I'm Diabetic, So I'm Like, Are You Kidding Me?!

Why Would Anybody Connect To Someone Who Has Everything Going For Them? It's The Person Who Has Faults That People Want To Connect To. So People Identify With Certain Insecurities On Stage And Just By Me Talking About My Diabetes People Come Up To Me After The Show And Tell Me "gabe, My Blood Sugar Is Out Of Control And I Feel You". That's The First Thing They Say, They Say "i Feel You!".

Why Do People Measure Life By The Years Instead Of How Good The Years Were?

I'm Not Fat. I'm Fluffy!

If I Speak Spanish In My Show, Which Sometimes I Do, I Translate What I Say. I Make It Where I Can Still Be Myself, But I Make It To Where Everybody Knows What The Hell Is Going On And When Everyone Leaves, They're Like "ok, I Get It."