I Like Living With Myself. I Mean

The U.s. Continues The Search For Osama Bin Laden. Reports Suggest That Bin Laden Is Most Likely Hiding Out Somewhere Remote And Barren, Where He Will Not Encounter Others. The Fbi Has Begun Searching Theaters Showing The Movie 'glitter.'

New Defense Secretary Ashton Carter Said That He Is Open To Letting Transgender People Serve In The Military. He Said There's No Reason To Prevent People From Being Generals Just Because Of Their Privates.

Today Is Earth Day. Environmentalists Spent The Day Drawing Attention To The Earth, While The Earth Just Spent The Day Checking Facebook To See Which Planets Wished It A Happy Earth Day.

I Didn't Think It Was Going To Be This Fun. But Everything Just Gets Heightened When You Have A Baby. The Volume Gets Turned Up On Life. I Never Knew I Could Be This Happy, And That's The Truth.

President Obama Just Made His First Presidential Trip To The State Of Utah. Obama Spent His Time In Utah Just Like You'd Expect - Telling People, 'uh, No, I Don't Play For The Jazz.'