I Left Home To Go To College,

I Hate When New Parents Ask Who The Baby Looks Like. It Was Born 15 Minutes Ago, It Looks Like A Potato

I'm Professional, I'm Allowed To Say This. I Let Him Lick My Balls. So, That's What You Need To Get Close With Your Animal.

If You Ain't First, You're Last!

Whenever Someone Calls Me Ugly I Get Super Sad And Hug Them, Because I Know How Tough Life Is For The Visually Impaired.

It Doesn't Really Exist, This Frat Pack. We Run Into Each Other On Occasions And We All Like Each Other's Films, I Guess, But There Isn't Some Big Funny Restaurant Or Bar Where We All Hang Out. At Least, If There Is, They Haven't Invited Me.