I Learned Pretty Quickly That It's Your

If Bill Gates Woke Up With Oprah's Money He'd Jump Out The Window.

You Can't Think The Thoughts You Want To Think If You Think You're Being Watched.

I Never Really Write The Jokes. I Just Sit Down Over A Week Or Two And Try To Figure Out What I Want To Talk About. Once I Narrow That Down, Then I Start Working On The Material, Like "how Do I Make This Stuff Funny?"

If You Want To Prevent Abortions, You Make Sure Everyone Has Health Care, A High School Education And Birth Control. Not The Exact Opposite.

No Matter What Happens Or How Difficult Things Become, You Will Eventually Feel Better.