I Just Think It's Sad That The

What's Cool About Twitter Is That You Can Make A Joke About Something Very Of-the-moment Or Random That I Wouldn't Be Able To Joke About In Stand-up.

I Can't Think Of Any Bank Robbery Comedy Where It's About Two Normal Guys. It's Kind Of Like Superbad Meets Heat, Which Is A Cool Combo, And It's Just Fun Doing A Normal Guy That's Robbing A Bank.

I Know When Someone That's Not You Tries To Tell Your Story, Especially When You Don't Look Like The Person Whose Story You're Trying To Tell, You're Going To Screw It Up. And The Only Way To Get It Right Is To Have Them Be As Involved As Possible.

I Prefer Being Totally Sober Myself.

I Went To A Place Recently I Think Is One Of The Most F**ked Up Places I've Ever Been To. I'm Convinced This Place Is The Epitome Of American Excess, Of American Greed. I'm Talking About A Place Called Cold Stone Creamery. Whoa. If You Have Not Been There, The Basic Gist Of Cold Stone Is That They Take Ice Cream And Then They Just Go Ape Sh*t With It.