I Just Think It's Sad That The

I Spend So Much Time On The Internet...i Feel Like I'm A Million Pages Into The Worst Book Ever, And I'm Never Going To Stop Reading.

I Like Going Out And I Like Being Single, But A Growing Part Of Me Would Rather Just Stay Home, Cook Food With Someone I Really Like, And Do Nothing.

With Stand-up, It's More Interesting To Hear About People's Failures Than Their Successes.

One Of My Life Goals Is To Be A Best Man. It's A Baller Position. You Get Drunk, You Make Speeches, And You Make Love To The Prettiest Bridesmaid, Usually Standing From Behind.

If It's Possible, I Binge. There Are Other Shows, Like 'the Americans' And 'game Of Thrones,' I Watch And Have To Wait A Week.