I've Never Done Online Dating.

I Write Characters That Are Based On Elements Of People I Know And Experiences I've Really Had.

One Of My Life Goals Is To Be A Best Man. It's A Baller Position. You Get Drunk, You Make Speeches, And You Make Love To The Prettiest Bridesmaid, Usually Standing From Behind.

If You Believe That Men And Women Have Equal Rights, If Someone Asks If You're Feminist, You Have To Say Yes Because That Is How Words Work.

So Many Gay Jokes Tonight About (james) Franco. Apparently If You're Clean, Well Dressed And Mildly Cultured, You're Super Gay Now. Is That Why The Rest Of You Guys Are So Aggressively Fat And Dirty? You Think If You Read One Book And Take A Shower, Dicks Are Going To Just Fly Into Your Face.

Aren't You Scared Your Kid's Getting Kidnapped...right Now?