I've Never Done Online Dating.

Oh, Am I Wearing An Ascot? I Didn't Notice.

I Like Going Out And I Like Being Single, But A Growing Part Of Me Would Rather Just Stay Home, Cook Food With Someone I Really Like, And Do Nothing.

This Is One Of My Favorite Pick Up Strategies: I'm Constantly Giving Women My Keys. So Far, None Of Them Have Shown Up. Matter Of Time. And I've Been Robbed Twice.

If Thou Canst Walk On Water, Thou Art No Better Than A Straw. If Thou Canst Fly In The Air, Thou Art No Better Than A Fly. Conquer Thy Heart That Thou Mayest Become Somebody.

If Your Job Was Remotely Interesting, There Would Be A Show On A&e About It.