I Just Heard About A Woman In

Jim Gilmore Was The Only Gop Candidate Not Invited To The Republican Debates Tonight, But I Saw That He Actually Planned To Live-tweet It. When He Heard That, Jeb Bush Was Like 'can I Do That? I Don't Want To Be Here!'

The 'tonight Show' Didn't Seem Like An Actual Job That You Could Have. All You Remember Is You Watched Johnny Carson, And You Never Thought He Would Retire.

Thank You, Yard Sales, For Being The Perfect Way To Say To Your Neighbors: We Think We're Important Enough To Charge Money For Our Garbage.

A Clothing Company Is Making T-shirts Inspired By Bernie Sanders With Messages Like 'feel The Bern.' They Were Gonna Make Them For Lincoln Chafee Too, But No One Wants To Wear A Shirt That Says 'feel The Chafee.'

Officials At The London Olympics Will Be Conducting 5,000 Tests For Steroids. Or As Lance Armstrong Calls That, 'a Monday.'