I Just Didn't Make Music That You

When I Was A Kid It Was Big News When Someone Flew Around The World In A Little Aeroplane, But Nobody Cared When I Did It. Then, To Rub Salt Into My Wounds, The Customs People Ripped My Aeroplane To Pieces, Looking For Stuff.

I Was A Loner As A Child And Happiest At Home, Launching Toy Rockets And Aeroplanes. When I Started Causing Trouble In My Third Year At Grammar School, Mum Was Really Surprised. My Parents Sent Me To A Child Psychologist, Who Suggested I Might Have Asperger's Syndrome.

I've Spent A Lot Of Time In The United States And I'm Not Under Any Illusions That It's A Crime-free Nirvana. I'm Well Aware It Has Plenty Of Problems, Though They Seem To Be Associated With Particular Areas.

I've Got Asperger's Syndrome And I'm Not A Very Good People Person, So I've Always Been More Comfortable Around Machinery. Not In A Weird Way - I Don't Want To Marry My Car Or Anything Stupid Like That!

I Want Them To Play Britney Spears At My Funeral. This Way I Won't Feel So Bad About Being Dead, And Everyone There Will Know There Is Something Worse Than Death.