I Hope What I Do Has An

These Days, Young People Watch Tv On Smartphones And Computers. Young People With An Actual Tv Set Are Harder To Find Than A Picture Of Anthony Weiner With His Clothes On.

When You Need To Borrow Money The Mob Seems Like A Better Deal I Think. 'you Don't Pay Me Back I Break Both Yer Legs.' Is That All? You Won't Take My House Or Wreck My Credit Rating? Fine Where Do I Sign. Legs? Fine. You Don't Even Have To Sign Anything.

I Said That The Only Way I Could Have A Band That Would Work In The Format Of My Show Is If The Band Were Crap. So If I Have A Band They'd Have To Really Suck.

Stand By Your Bed And Salute Me.

I Don't Know How Much Of A Natural Human I Am. Y'know, The Truth Is, I Never Set Out To Do That, And I Don't Think Of Myself Like That. I Don't Think Like That. It's Not Really About Promotion - I Don't Really Understand The Idea Of Promotion, Talking To A Camera For More Money. That's Just Money. And I Like Money, Don't Get Me Wrong. I Don't Know. I Don't Get It. I Don't Understand It As Much As You Don't Understand Me, I Think.