I Hope To Keep Entertaining In Some

Honey, I Can Smell The Scent Of Another Woman From 500 Paces.

Writing A Book Is Not As Tough As It Is To Haul Thirty-five People Around The Country And Sweat Like A Horse Five Nights A Week.

Even If The Whole Human Race Dies Off Because We Keep Fighting And Killing Each Other And Being Heartless, The Planet Will Take Care Of Itself. Eventually, After Millions Of Years, It Will Cleanse Itself, And New Life Forms, Maybe Better Ones, Will Come. Meanwhile, We'll Have Gotten Exactly What We Deserved: Annihilation.

I Have My Standards. They're Low, But I Have Them.

I Wish America Would Spend Even Half As Much Time Complaining About Plastics In Our Oceans As We Do About Actresses' Plastic Surgery.