I Haven't Seen Someone So Overmatched Since

Of *course* He Needs To Renegotiate His Salary - The Guy Buys More Snow Than Seward Did When He Bought Alaska From The Russians.

The Government Could Take Away All The Drugs In The World And People Would Spin Around On Their Lawns Until They Fell Down And Saw God.

Teresa Lewis, The Only Woman On Death Row In Virginia, Says She Doesn't Deserve The Death Penalty Because She Only Hired The Killers Of Her Husband And Stepson, She Didn't Actually Pull The Trigger Herself. You Know, She Has A Point. I Think We Should Let Her Be Able To Hire The Person Who Executes Her, And Not Do Yourself In! How's That, Doll? Yeah! Get It Over With Quick, Maybe Charlize Theron Will Sign Up To Play You.

Campaign Analysts Say That Dean Has Produced The Most Innovative Web Site In This Year's Presidential Race. I Particularly Like Today's Blog, Which Consisted Of The Sentence 'i Hate Myself,' Typed Four Billion Times. In Dean's Case, This May Be The First Instance Where The Actually Entity Represented By The Web Site Has Crashed More Often Than The Site Did.

I'm One Of The More Pessimistic Cats On The Planet. I Make Van Gogh Look Like A Rodeo Clown.