I Have Outlived Most Of My More

If You Can't Laugh At Yourself, You May Be Missing The Colossal Joke Of The Century.

I Know Body Hair Bothers Some Women, But A Lot Of Men Like A Fluffy Partner.

If You Have To Explain Satire To Someone, You Might As Well Give Up.

My Parents Were Very Pleased That I Was In The Army. The Fact That I Hated It Somehow Pleased Them Even More.

I've Decided The Secret Of Parenting Is Benevolent Neglect.i Put My Family Last. Because If You Don't, If You Put Them First, They Never Thank You. You'll Never Get A Word Of Thanks From Them.