I Have No Plan Except To Take

The Other Day My Twelve-year-old Says To Me, I Don't Feel Like I'm With You Right Now. You're In The Car With Me, You're Checking Your E-mail, You're Not Listening To Me, I Don't Feel Like I'm With You. And I Say, You Know What? That Was Your Mother's Gripe, Too. And She Was Right. And You're Also Correct. When You Cop To Something, You Get To The Next Level. In This Case, The Next Level Is: I Just Learned Something From My Twelve-year-old.

If You Don't Wake Up Every Day Happy, Change Something.

Think Well Of Yourself And Others Will Too. Unless Those Others Are In Government, Banking, Or Show Business.

Found A Bunch Of Old Shower Caps In My House. Was Gonna Throw Them Out But Realized They Make Excellent Porta Potties For Long Road Trips.

I Think Comedy Is On An Organic Upsurge Right Now Because When I Started, It Was 1978 At The Comedy Store And Letterman Had Just Stopped Emceeing His Morning Show.