I Have No Illusions About My Looks.

I Was Born With An Enormous Need For Affection, And A Terrible Need To Give It.

Promise Me One Thing: Don't Take Me Home Until I'm Drunk - Very Drunk Indeed.

Living Is Like Tearing Through A Museum. Not Until Later Do You Really Start Absorbing What You Saw, Thinking About It, Looking It Up In A Book, And Remembering - Because You Can't Take It In All At Once.

Laughing Is The Best Calorie Burner.

Remember, If You Ever Need A Helping Hand, You'll Find One At The End Of Your Arm. I Really Hope No One Misinterprets This Quote As Being About Masturbation.