I Have Never Wanted To Be Famous,

I Find Impressionists Slightly Annoying, Really.

When You See A Crowd Of People Jumping Up And Down At A Pop Concert, All Gloriously In The Moment, I Don't Think You'll Ever See A Comedian There. They'll All Be Standing At The Sides, Looking At How It All Fits Together.

When I Was A Student I Was Very, Very Ambitious, Completely Immersed In My Comedy Career. I Never Had That Period Of Reckless Hedonism That You Should Get Out Of Your System In Your Youth.

Got My Fungal Foot Powder? Ah, It's A Lifesaver, You Know. I'd Effectively Be Disabled If It Weren't For These.

A Friend Of Mine Once Said He Like His Women Like His Parmesan: Strong Smelling And Shaved. I Don't Agree With That, But I Don't Like Hairy Women.