I Have Never Wanted To Be Famous,

People Come Up To Me In Supermarkets And Demand Humour. And The Less Amusing I Am, The More They Piss Themselves. So I Say, "i'm Doing My Shopping, Mate, Ok?" And The Guy Will Be On The Floor In Hysterics. Quite Odd. Eventually I Do Have To Say Something Funny So I Usually Go For Something Pathetic Like, "it's A Nice Place To Shop But I Wouldn't Like To Live Here!" And They Roar Again. Wet Themselves. I'm Lucky Though That I Am Not Massively Famous, I Can Get The Tube Without Much Bother. Must Be Awful Being The Beckhams.

Comedy Is Unique In The Sense That Laughter Is A Palpable Noise That Everyone Makes.

I Knew Lots Of Irish Ladies In My Life Who Would Say Daft Things And Then Would Just Say Something Incredibly Truthful In A Very Simple Way With Simple Language - A Few Well Chosen Words That Would Take An Intellectual Five Minutes To Express. I Like That.

Look At All Those American Preachers Who Got Caught With Their Pants Down. They Say One Thing And They Are Doing Another. I Try To Be More Honest About It, Both In My Thinking And My Behavior.

To Me, I Like And Understand Ritual And I Think It Is Important. Things That We Do That Give Us Comfort Are Important. Like Christmas, I Like To Go Into A Church And Hear The Carols Sung. There's A Comfort Of Actually Going Inside Of A Church, I Find Them Serene. They're Unchanging.