I Have Always Defined Political Correctness As

We Have The Bill Of Rights. What We Need Is A Bill Of Responsibilities.

People Sometimes Say How Standup Is So Hard, And I Always Tell Them That It's Hard At The Beginning.

I'm Okay With It Now That Obama’s In Office. I'm Kind Of Trusting Of Him. But President Ted Cruz? Where This Is Going Would Bother Me.

Mitt Romney We Think Is Going Run Again. He Says He Has No Plans To Run, But He Said If He Did Run, This Time Things Would Turn Out Differently. Yes They Would. This Time He Would Get His Ass Kicked By A Woman.

In No Way Was I Intending To Say, Nor Have I Ever Thought, That The Men And Women Who Defend Our Nation In Uniform Are Anything But Courageous And Valiant, And I Offer My Apologies To Anyone Who Took It Wrong.