I Have A Twelve Year Old Sex

Donald, I'm Not Sure If You're Even Aware Of This, But The Only Difference Between You And Michael Douglas From The Movie, Wall Street, Is That No One's Going To Be Sad When You Get Cancer.

Yeah We're Not Together Anymore. She Has Got - She Has Got A New Boyfriend Now. They Just Moved Into Together. And I've Heard Rumors That He Is Abusive, Which Makes You Want To Go Over There With A Baseball Bat. And Then Blame It On Her Boyfriend.

I Loved Stephen Wright, And I Loved Mitch Hedberg, But They Seemed Like Geniuses You Could Never Emulate. You'd Just Be Ripping Them Off.

I Enjoyed Writing For Someone Elses Voice, But I Wasnt Very Good At It.

It Seemed Fun To Play A Villain On Stage And I Wanted My Jokes To Be So Good That I Could Just Calmly Tell Them On Stage.