I Hate Mornings. They Start So Early.

Babe,' Ranger Said. 'do Something With Her.' And He Disconnected. I Called Ranger Back. 'no,' I Said. 'and I Need Information On Jelly Kantner. His Apartment Got Blown Up, And I Need To Find Him.' And I Should Do This Why?' Because You Like Me.' There Was A Full Beat Of Silence. 'i Do,' Ranger Said. 'i Like You A Lot. Sometimes I'm Not Sure Why. Give Me A Couple Minutes.

Only Men You Can Count On These Days Are Ben And Jerry.

Grandma Mazur Stood Two Feet Back From My Mother. "i Gotta Get Me A Pair If Those," She Said, Eyeballing My Shorts. "i've Still Got Pretty Good Legs, You Know." She Raised Her Skirt And Looked Down At Her Knees. "what Do You Think? You Think I'd Look Good In Them Biker Things?" Grandma Mazur Had Knees Like Doorknobs.

I Disconnected And Made A Mental Note Not To Call Tank Unless I Was Bleeding Profusely, And He Was The Only Other Person On Earth.

If I Let Her In I'm Doomed. It's Like Inviting A Vampire Into Your House. Once You've Invite Them In, That's It, You're Good As Dead!