I Hate Babies. They're So Human.

Why Are Women So Fond Of Raking Up The Past? They're As Bad As Tailors, Who Invariably Remember What You Owe Them For A Suit Long After You've Ceased To Wear It.

Never Be A Pioneer. It's The Early Christian That Gets The Fattest Lion.

There May Have Been Disillusionments In The Lives Of The Medieval Saints, But They Would Scarcely Have Been Better Pleased If They Could Have Foreseen That Their Names Would Be Associated Nowadays Chiefly With Racehorses And The Cheaper Clarets.

Monogamy Is The Western Custom Of One Wife And Hardly Any Mistresses.

Oysters Are More Beautiful Than Any Religion... There's Nothing In Christianity Or Buddhism That Quite Matches The Sympathetic Unselfishness Of An Oyster.