I Had Low Blood Sugar, A Chemical

I Don't Think In Terms Of Results At All. I Think: What Next Insanity Can I Shock The World With?

Comedy Is Serious - Deadly Serious. Never, Never Try To Be Funny! The Actors Must Be Serious. Only The Situation Must Be Absurd. Funny Is In The Writing, Not In The Performing. If The Situation Isn't Absurd, No Amount Of Joke Will Help.

Being Short Never Bothered Me For Three Seconds. The Rest Of The Time I Wanted To Commit Suicide.

If Presidents Can't Do It To Their Wives, They Do It To Their Country.

The Twelve Chairs Is About The Same Thing. It's All About Money Or Love. We Know We Need Money, We Know We Have To Get Money, We Know We Have To Hurt Others To Get Money. But We Don't Know Until Maybe It's A Little Too Late In Life That Love Is The Most Important Thing. Love, Friendship, Affection, Bonhomie, Whatever. Those Are The Only Things That Really Count: To Love And Be Loved.