I Grew Up In Scotland In The

A Junkie Will Steal Your Purse, And Then Help You Look For It.

Halloween's Eve Is Also Known As Mischief Night. Kids Are Supposed Go Around Playing Pranks Tonight. That's Great, Just What Teenagers Need -- Another Excuse To Be Jerks.

The Truth Is, You Win The Lotto. That's Really How You Have To Approach It. You're A Lottery Winner When You Get A Sitcom And It Goes.

A New Survey Says One In Three Adults Will Be Dressing Up For Halloween. As For Me, I'm Not Going To Do Anything. I'm Going As Congress.

Sarah Palin Is Speaking Out About The Oil Spill. She Said, I'm Not Kidding, We Should Ask The Dutch For Help With The Spill Because The Dutch Have The World's Best Dikes. So Let Me Get This Straight. It Is Ok To Cover Lesbians In Oil But You Just Can't Let Them Get Married.