I Grew Up In A Catholic Family

It's So Obvious The Weather Channel Is Pro Hurricane. Fair And Balanced My Ass.

Kale Is A Superfood And It’s Special Power Is Tasting Bad.

Why Would A Lazy Guy Become A Parent Of Five? Then Again, Why Would Creative People Who Inherently Don't Like Change And Criticism Become Writers, Actors, Or Comedians? There's Something About This Process. I Joke About It: My Kids Have Made Me A Better Person, And I Only Need, Like, 34 More Of Them To Be A Really Good Guy.

Sometimes Being Lazy Can Get You In Trouble. You Ever Not Take A Shower All Weekend, Just Lounge Around, Then You're Running Late For Work On Monday? There's Always One Person At Work: "something Smells Like Smoke In Here!" "uh, I Went To A Barbeque On Friday Night. Only Had 48 Hours To Take A Shower. Busy."

I've Been Doing Stand-up For So Long, I Think 19 Years, That I Love Topics I Can Also Expand On. Once I Identify A Topic Like, Say, Seafood, Which Is A Big One Right Now, It's Like There Are Different Kinds Of Tangents I Can Go On To Build A Larger Chunk.