I Grew Up In A Catholic Family

If Camping Is So Great, Why Are The Bugs Always Trying To Get In Your House?

I'm A Weirdo That Goes On Stage To Make Strangers Laugh, But If I Wasn't Working, I Would Just Want To Be With My Wife And Kids. I Don't Even Think I'd Want To Go Out To Dinner.

There Has Been This Belief Among The Catholic Community - And This - I'm No Expert, This Is My Opinion - That Cafeteria Catholics Are Wrong.

The Entertainment Business Is Such A Strange, Crazy Perception Business That You're Either Given Way Too Much Respect, Like People Saying, "you Should Be The Head Of The Sitcom!" Or You're Given No Respect, Where They're Like, "you Should Audition To Be The Garbage Man That Lives Four Houses Down."

I Don't Have Any Delusions. I'm Not A Novelist - I'm A Comedian Who Writes. I Love Doing The Stand-up And The Touring And The Albums And All That, But It's Pretty Amazing To Go Into A Library And See Your Book There.