I Earned My First Steady Paycheck Watering

I'm Being Followed So Much I'm Causing Traffic Jams.

I've Written 17 Novels, And I've Found Out That Fiction Can't Keep Up With Real Life.

Reading Is By Far The Most Successful Pursuit Of Happiness.

I Have Learned Not To Read Reviews. Period. And I Hate Reviewers. All Of Them, Or At Least All But Two Or Three. Life Is Much Simpler Ignoring Reviews And The Nasty People Who Write Them. Critics Should Find Meaningful Work.

It's As If We Spend Our Entire Lives Avoiding Jell-o But It Is Always There At The End, Waiting.