I Don't Want To Be My Own

I Have An Air Mattress. It's Great Because If Someone Tries To Suffocate Me In Bed I Can Just Poke A Hole In It And Use It To Stay Alive.

I Like To Go To Concerts Because I Love To See My Favorite Band Through The Phone Of The Asshole Who's Standing In Front Of Me.

I Wonder How They Deal With Mice At Disney World.

The Shortest Distance Between Two Idiots Is A Conga Line.

I Went To Law School. I Found It Interesting For The First Three Weeks.