I Don't Want People To Think I

People Need To Write Articles And They Need To Have Angles In Them And I'm Grateful When People Are Doing Articles, But I Always Say There's Not A Great Mystery To Stand-up Comedy.

I'd Have To Say Sunset Salsa. Nothing Against Honey Lime, But It's For Losers.

Who Was The First Person To Walk Into A Harbor And Say, "whatever That Horrible Smell Is I Want To Eat It"

But Truly, Women Are Amazing. Think About It This Way: A Woman Can Grow A Baby Inside Her Body. Then A Woman Can Deliver The Baby Through Her Body. Then, By Some Miracle, A Woman Can Feed A Baby With Her Body. When You Compare That To The Male’s Contribution To Life, It’s Kind Of Embarrassing, Really.

Thanksgiving Is The Most Complicated Meal You Can Think Of. Every Night, Dinner Is Just Pasta. It's Just Different Shapes Of Pasta.