I Don't Understand How You Can Be

A Human Being Can Spend Only So Much Time Outside Her Comfort Zone Before She Realizes She Is Still Tethered To It.

I Have Come To Understand Myself As More Of A New York Writer, Or More Of A Woman Writer, But I Don't Feel Like That While I'm Writing. But I Think That Most New Yorkers Would Object To Calling Me A New Yorker. I Didn't Grow Up Here.

Kids Across The Country Have Grown Up Accepting The Idea That No One Can Harm Your Family If At Least One Of Its Adult Members Is In The Shower. No One Knows Why.

For The Average Person, Taken To Their Sick Bed, It Takes A Serious Bout Of Pneumonia Or A Full Body Cast To Completely Forget The Life They Had Prior To Falling Off The Rollercoaster. I, However, Will Do This Over A Paper Cut On My Thumb, Obsessing Of Said Cut And Being Generally Consumed By It.

As Most Doctors Will Tell You, Cleansing Is Ridiculous. You Know What's Been Around Longer Than That State-of-the-art Juicer? Your Kidneys. And Your Liver. Still, The Cleanse Has Recalibrated My Definition Of A Splurge.