I Don't Understand How You Can Be

I Was The Youngest Of My Entire Family So You Are Tap-dancing To Try To Get The Attention Of Your Older Cousins. I Really Hit My Social Stride In 6th Grade, But Before That I Was A Pretty Big Dork. You Learn How To Be Amusing And How To Work For It.

I Definitely Rediscovered Reading For Pleasure By Devoting Such A Large Swath Of My Time To Sitting On Airplanes. I Am Now Painfully Adept At Removing My Shoes So As To Have The Least Amount Of Foot Surface Area Touching An Airport Floor.

You Know What They Say: 'why Sit At A Table That Doesn't Have Key Lime Pie On It If You Don't Have To?'

Every Time I Open The Drawer, It's A Trip Down Memory Lane, Which, If You Don't Turn Off At The Right Exit, Merges Straight Into The Masochistic Nostalgia Highway.

My Personality, When Tasked With Creating Meals, Goes Something Like This: Is There A Way We Can Make This More Difficult? Because Let's Do That. I Don't Mean To Complicate Things. It's Just - Why Buy Pre-packaged Potato Salad When You Can Spend Your Morning Boiling Potatoes And Flipping Out Because There's No Dill In The House?