I Don't Understand How You Can Be

A Human Being Can Spend Only So Much Time Outside Her Comfort Zone Before She Realizes She Is Still Tethered To It.

The Children Were Overwhelmingly Morbid. Not A Single Adult Asked Me Where Butterflies Go When They Die, But This Question Was More Popular Than Pixie Sticks With The Under-four-foot Set. I Cursed Parents For Not Preparing Their Children. When I Was Five, My Mother And Sister Sat Me Up On The Kitchen Counter And Explained The Facts Of Life: The Easter Bunny Didn't Exist, Elijah Was God's Invisible Friend, With Any Luck Nana Would Die Soon, And If I Ever Saw A Unicorn, I Should Kill It Or Catch It For Cash. I Turned Out Okay.

My A-number One Visceral Fear Is Speed. More Than Knives Or Snakes Or Confined Spaces. Speed. I Won't Even Go On A Motor Boat If I Can Help It.

Working On An Essay Versus A Novel Is Like The Difference Between Seeing To That Curtain And Seeing To New Jersey.

They Say It's Not The Snoring Itself But Those Anxiety-packed Moments In Between Snorts. It's The Waiting For The Nasal Passages Of The Person Lying Beside You To Strike Again. And Strike It Always Does. In The Dark, Almost Against Your Will, You Produce That Special Glare Reserved For People Who Cannot Control Their Own Behaviour.