I Don't Understand Bus Lanes. Why Do

Being Smarter Than You Look Is Better Than Looking Smarter Than You Are.

We All Know That Small Cars Are Good For Us. But So Is Cod Liver Oil. And Jogging.

Like Every Big Organisation These Days, The Bbc Is Obsessed With The Wellbeing Of Those Who Set Foot On Its Premises. Studios Must Display Warning Notices If There Is Real Glass On The Set, And The Other Day I Was Presented With A Booklet Explaining How To Use A Door. I Am Not Kidding.

I Have A Pathological Terror Of Falling Through Ice. I Nearly Drowned Once. I Fell Off A Boat And Got A Cramp, And Was Rescued By An Oil-rig Diver, A Great Bear Of A Man Who Simply Leant Into The Water And Scooped Me Out With One Finger.

Boredom Forces You To Ring People You Haven’t Seen For Eighteen Years And Halfway Through The Conversation You Remember Why You Left It So Long. Boredom Means You Start To Read Not Only Mail-order Catalogues But Also The Advertising Inserts That Fall On The Floor. Boredom Gives You Half A Mind To Get A Gun And Go Berserk In The Local Shopping Centre, And You Know Where This Is Going. Eventually, Boredom Means You Will Take Up Golf.