I Don't Return Fruit. Fruit's A Gamble.

You Can Tell What Was The Best Year Of Your Father's Life, Because They Seem To Freeze That Clothing Style And Ride It Out.

Why Is Mcdonalds Still Counting? How Insecure Is This Company? 40 Million, 80 Billion Million Jillion Killion Tillion... Who Cares? Is Anyone Really Impressed By That Any More? Ooh, 89 Billion Sold? All Right, I'll Have One! I'm Satisfied! I'd Like To Tell The Ceo Of Mcdonalds, "look. We All Get It, Okay? You've Sold A Lot Of Hamburgers. Whatever The Number Is, Just Put Up A Sign, 'mcdonalds: We're Doing Very Well.' We Are Tired Of Hearing About Every Goddamn One Of Them."

What's With This Weird Hotel Custom Of Leaving A Piece Of Chocolate On The Pillow? I Awoke Thinking My Brain Had Hemorrhaged Some Sort Of Fecal Matter.

Let's Examine The Dog Mind: Every Time You Come Home, He Thinks It's Amazing. He Can't Believe That You've Accomplished This Again. You Walk In The Door. The Joy Of It Almost Kills Him. "he's Back Again! It's That Guy! It's That Guy!"

I've Compiled A Book From The Internet. It's A Book Of Quotations Attributed To The Wrong People.