I Don't Need Any More Awards.

The Dutchman Sails As Its Captain Commands!

Justin Bieber Stole My Haircut. And Axl Rose Stole My Dance!

You Know I Used To Be A Heartthrob, And Now I'm A Coronary.

I'm A Married Man. If I Want Sex At This Particular Point In My Life, I Go Home For It.

My Wife Says When I Go Out To The Refrigerator, I Do Three Minutes (entertaining) When The Light Goes On!