I Don't Live The Single Life And

If You Ever Start To Feel Good About Yourself... .... They Have This Thing Called The Internet.

I Think Part Of Picking Where You Live In New York Is Accepting Who You Are. Really Looking At Yourself And Going, 'yeah, I'm Not Cool Enough For The West Village.'

Instead Of Trying To Fit An Impossible Ideal, I Took A Personal Inventory Of All My Healthy Body Parts For Which I Am Grateful: Straight Greek Eyebrows. They Start At The Hairline At My Temple And, Left Unchecked, Will Grow Straight Across My Face And Onto Yours.

I Was Ten. I Had Noticed Something Was Weird Earlier In The Day, But I Knew From Commercials That One's Menstrual Period Was A Blue Liquid That You Poured Like Laundry Detergent Onto Maxi Pads To Test Their Absorbency. This Wasn't Blue, So... I Ignored It For A Few Hours.

You Don't Just Decide To Destroy A Person By Making Up Stuff, And No One At 'snl' Is Writing To Go After Someone.