I Don't Like My Feet. I'm Not

If You Want To Be A Screenwriter, Take An Acting Class To Get A Sense Of What You're Asking Actors To Do. Learning Other Skills Will Help You Communicate With People And Respect What They Do.

Ah, Babies! They’re More Than Just Adorable Little Creatures On Whom You Can Blame Your Farts.

After College, I Knew I Wanted To Work In Comedy, So The First Thing I Did Was Go To Where The Comedy Was. I Moved From Charlottesville To Chicago, Because That's Where The Second City And Improv Olympics Are. You Have To Go Wherever You Need To Go To Study What Interests You.

And, You Know, Politics Aside, The Success Of Sarah Palin And Women Like Her Is Good For All Women - Except, Of Course - Those Who Will End Up, You Know, Like, Paying For Their Own Rape 'kit 'n' Stuff. But For Everybody Else, It's A Win-win. Unless You're A Gay Woman Who Wants To Marry Your Partner Of 20 Years - Whatever. But For Most Women, The Success Of Conservative Women Is Good For All Of Us. Unless You Believe In Evolution. You Know - Actually, I Take It Back. The Whole Thing's A Disaster.

I Am Going To Dedicate Myself, Full Time, To My Day-drinking.