I Don't Have Anything Against This Jesus

Yeah, I've Banged Some Female Costars. I Swore I'd Never Tell Their Names, So Instead I'll Present Some Anagrams: Sahar Clahke And Haether Gharam.

I'm Pretty Sure Africa Was Made Up By The Media To Scare People. I Mean, I've Never Seen It. Have You? I Didn't Think So.

The Greatest Charity You Can Contribute To Is Yourself. Instead Of Spending A Dollar To Help Feed Hungry Children, Why Not Spend That Dollar On Hair Gel So You Can Get The Perfect Cowlick?

I Was Kosher Until I Had My Bar Mitzvah, And I Parlayed Officially Becoming A Man Into Telling My Father I Wanted To Eat Cheeseburgers.

Everyday I Question Myself. I Look In The Mirror, Or Read One Of My Scripts, Or I Reflect On My Acting And I Say To Myself 'that Was Good...but Was It Zach Braff Good?' Lets Just Say Things Have Been Looking Pretty Zach Braff So Far.