I Don't Have Any Children, But If

I Got Some Tartar-control Toothpaste A While Back. I've Still Got Tartar, But It's Under Control.

I Like Wearing Necklaces, Because It Lets Me Know When I'm Upside Down.

I Had To Take A Physical To Do This Show. They Had A Lot Of Weird Questions Like, "have You Ever Tried Sugar Or Pcp?"

You Know When A Company Wants To Use Letters In Their Phone Number, But Often They'll Use Too Many Letters? "call 1-800-i-really-enjoy-brand-new-carpeting." Too Many Letters, Man, Must I Dial Them All? "hello? Hold On, Man, I'm Only On 'enjoy.' How Did You Know I Was Calling? You're Good, I Can See Why They Hired You!"

I Don't Own A Cell Phone Or A Pager. I Just Hang Around Everyone I Know, All The Time. If Someone Wants To Get A Hold Of Me, They Just Say 'mitch,' And I Say 'what?' And Turn My Head Slightly.