I Don't Get Why The Government Is

Anyone Can Read The News To You. I Promise To Feel The News At You.

They Think I'm Silly. I Do Silly Things. I Fall Down And Run Into Things. I Talk To Inanimate Objects. I'll Hold A Pickup Stick To My Ear And Say, "what? What's That? I Can't Hear You

Protect Yourself From Muslim Vampires By Making Your Neck Non-halal.

Sir, Pay No Attention To The People Who Say The Glass Is Half Empty, Because 32% Means It's 2/3 Empty. There's Still Some Liquid In That Glass Is My Point, But I Wouldn't Drink It. The Last Third Is Usually Backwash. (said To President Bush At The White House Correspondents Dinner)

New Study Reveals Men Like To Cuddle. Another Study Reveals Men Will Say Anything To Get Into Bed With A Woman.