I Don’t Believe For A Second That

I Talk To A Lot Of Librarians, And There's Always A Steady Drumbeat Of How Libraries Are Places Of Community. But A Lot Of Them Have Also Recently - And Just In The Nick Of Time - Refurbished, Because During This Economic Downturn, People Have A Tendency To Borrow Instead Of Buy.

I Don't Have A Bank Account Because I Don't Know My Mother's Maiden Name.

My Problem, I Try To Teach My Kids To Eat Healthy Food. But You Get A Cantaloupe, And You Don't Know When It's Going To Come Of Age. You Have No Idea - That Period Between When It's Like, Hard As A Rock To When It's Smushy Inside, Is About Ten Minutes.

I Can Make Things, But I Don't Cook Them, Exactly. Like Salmon, I Can Stick That In A Pan. Or The Other Day I Made Noodles, But They Were Hard. It Never Occurred To Me To Check Them; I Just Stopped Cooking Them When I Felt They Were Ready. Really, I'm Too Absentminded.

I Happen To Be A Devout Atheist. I Don't Believe In God. I Still Go To Church -- I'm Not A Heathen. I Go To An Atheist Church. We Have Crippled Guys Who Stand Up And Testify That They Were Crippled, And They Still Are.