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The Real Reason That We Can’t Have The Ten Commandments In A Courthouse: You Cannot Post “thou Shalt Not Steal,” “thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery,” And “thou Shalt Not Lie” In A Building Full Of Lawyers, Judges, And Politicians. It Creates A Hostile Work Environment.

Let's Suppose We All Just Materialized On Earth And There Was A Bunch Of Potatoes On The Ground, Okay? There's Just Six Of Us. Only Six Humans. We Come Into A Clearing And There's Potatoes On The Ground. Now, My Instinct Would Be, Let's Everybody Get Some Potatoes. "everybody Got A Potato? Joey Didn't Get A Potato! He's Small, He Can't Hold As Many Potatoes. Give Joey Some Of Your Potatoes." "no, These Are My Potatoes!" That's The Republicans. "i Collected More Of Them, I Got A Bigger Pile Of Potatoes, They're Mine. If You Want Some Of Them, You're Going To Have To Give Me Something."

The Surgeon General Warned Today That Saliva Causes Stomach Cancer. But Apparently Only When Swallowed In Small Amounts Over A Long Period Of Time.

Although The Photographer And The Art Thief Were Close Friends, Neither Had Ever Taken The Other's Picture.

Here's A Bumper Sticker I'd Like To See... 'we Are The Proud Parents Of A Child Who Has Resisted His Teacher's Attempts To Bend Him To The Will Of His Corporate Masters'.